February 11 2016

Under a Rock

photo by Bob Ribokas,

Went over like a lead balloon, struck out, bottomless hole, long goodbye, imprisoned by grief, fallen house of cards, flame went out, losing game, dead end, popped bubble, sea of tears: there are countless metaphors for failure and loss....

November 15 2015

Herding Cats: Managing Depression

Posted by in Identity with 2 Comments

I was ten years old the first time I remember thinking that I should just kill myself.  I had been having a rough day, and it was an unbidden response to the...

November 4 2015

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

Posted by in In Common with 1 Comment

THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER. This line occurs to me as when I feel like expressing a particular kind of mood. The words resonate with how I feel, but I confess...

October 12 2015

Bulletproof: Fiction and Fact

Five years ago, if you’d told me that the key to a more joyous life was to become more vulnerable; the key to wanting less pain was welcoming more pain; the key to...

August 31 2015

Complex Conversations

Some friends of mine have been having conversations lately exploring different facets of identity.  I want to present these conversations together, because I think they’re a valuable glimpse in how people are...

August 17 2015

Unconditional Friendliness

Self-talk is a complicated beast. In a lot of ways, it feels like one of the most private acts in which I can engage.  Nobody can overhear it.  Nobody can contradict me if...

July 27 2015

A Forlorn Love Letter to Young Parents

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When I was young, I’d say all the way up into my 20s, I had this image of Parents as a pretty monolithic group.  With rare exceptions, they: knew everything; had whatever I...

July 20 2015

Kicking Deserving Out

Posted by in Identity with 2 Comments

This seems like it should be an easy one for me.  I firmly don’t believe in the concept of “deserve”. I think it’s toxic in relationships and irrelevant at work. I think...

July 13 2015

Hi! “Nice” to “meet” “you”

There are a lot of experts out there who have good ideas on what you should measure, why it’s important, and what you can do to make your numbers better. These are pretty smart ways of evaluating what can seem like ephemeral results. This concept of quantifying an inherently qualitative activity has got me wondering: Why do we like to measure things so much?

July 2 2015

The Love Language of Anger

Posted by in Identity with 3 Comments
the love language of anger

Somehow it is easiest to wound the people that I least want to injure; a quick tongue and raw impatience have not made stellar combinations when my emotions ran high. Because of this, I have taken some time to work on how I can love someone even through anger. That is when I am most out of control of myself, when I am most outraged and least willing to listen, and most likely to do the most damage. This is the time when I need to be able to show them I love them the most. And for me, it has come down time and time again to language.